Everybody suffers from it, but how much is too much? I mean, it might sound odd, but I think doubt is just a part of the landscape. The only person I ever met who didn't seem subject to bouts of doubt (doubt-bouts?) was a complete tosser. Complete. Tosser. Does this mean that over-coming self-doubt means throwing the humility out with the bath-water? Hope not. Anyway a little bit of doubt is normal, right? Whether you are starting a new job, make a big decision, or about to sit down and finally commit yourself to writing your story / thesis / play....anytime you are about to put yourself out there for people to judge or where heaven forbid you could make "The Wrong Decision", you're going to invite in a little doubt..a cute little doubt, like this guy....
oh bless....doesn't look to scary, right? We give him a little wave from across a crowded room, he makes eyes at us.....we forget about him....and two weeks later when we least expect there's a knock on the door and there he is, the cute little guy. Only he's got a couple of suitcases with him and he looks like he's here to stay. We let him in. We manage to ignore him, on and off, but he kinda gets in our ear. He's hungry. And we keep feeding him, so he gets bigger and bigger and one day he looks like this....
OK, that is no longer cute. Self-doubt, according to research, does the following things to us (I've nicked these from this website, check it out https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/functioning-flourishing/201504/wish-you-could-banish-self-doubt ) We......
- Become defensively pessimistic in an effort to avoid taking on new challenges.
- Procrastinate and try to put things off.
- Self-sabotage our efforts so we can logically blame our failures on other factors—like “I’m so hungover, no wonder my presentation was terrible”—in an effort to protect ourselves from really trying.
- Drive us to overachieve in an effort to prove ourselves wrong and risk burning ourselves out.
- Suffer from the imposter syndrome, unable to accept praise for our efforts because we believe we don’t really deserve it.
Oh, procrastination, aye? I know a lot about procrastination. True story: about a month ago I was so worried about the procrastination I was doing instead of my writing that I watched a couple of youtube clips on it, then logged into book depository and researched and purchased a book on it.....anyhoo......Imposter syndrome? Another biggie. I feel so fake sometimes I may as well buy a big black moustache and novelty nose to go with the feeling. So yes. Self-doubt is bad....BAD I SAY....but yeah nah.....a little bit of self-doubt isn't the end of the world...
It comes with the territory. We are only really comfortable when we already know we rock at something. And that can't happen at the same time as we are doing something new. And doing new things is good.
And we don't want to be a tosser.
Everybody feels self-doubt. All of us, you're not alone. Except for the tossers.
And we don't want to be tossers.
A little bit of self-doubt might help nudge us along...might make us work a little harder...might make us examine what we are doing....might sound an alarm if we're on the wrong track..
A little bit will help keep us teachable, because we aren't a know-it-all you-know-what...
It will keep us humble.
I'm definitely not talking about letting self-doubt move in and consume us. I'm just saying notice it when it arrives, ask it why it's there, give it a quick pat on the head, take a breath....and then keep on doing what you were doing. Because.....
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